you know who you are.

i am fucking sick of you all. i am so angry and maybe its stupid but its not to me because you make a mockery of MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. you make my life a fucking joke. i am a joke to you i am a freak show for you to laugh at and make fun of. you can't even pretend like i'm not, theres no other reason to treat me this shitty other than maybe being awful fucking people (which you are either way. ableist cunts)

i know why you do this i know what is wrong with me. you'd deny it with everything you can but it's deep rooted ableism. i am not normal and no good at pretending i am and that makes me a viable target for your bullying (because that's what this is. it is blatant bullying) because somehow you think that it's funny. it stopped being funny when i stopped laughing. it stopped being funny when my secrets were getting spilled. it stopped being funny when existing started being embarrassing. it stopped being funny when i stopped trusting every single person i know. it stopped being funny when i couldnt even see myself as a person anymore. i hope you know you are shitty people for the things that you do

and im 'sorry' for not being normal or up to your standards of what is acceptable as a neurodivergent person and im 'sorry' if 'its all a joke' and im just too sensitive but jokes arent funny when they are at someone else's expense just because they can't be 'normal'. but unfortunately i'm not actually sorry. as much as i feel guilt for being this way i am not EVER going to apologise to you for being the way i am because it is simply not under my control, and i'm not out here ready to change everything about myself just to please the people that i hate.

you aren't going to read this and either way you still wouldn't take it seriously, because it seems that you are incapable of that, but i hope you know how badly you have fucked me up. and i hope you feel guilty for it. believe it or not, loudly outing me in the changing rooms for no reason is in fact going to upset me. no i do not forgive you right now, i have a right to forgive you when i'm ready, if at all. i can hear you whispering. i am not stupid. i know what you are doing. people tell me the things that you say, i know you have been talking about me. what's with this obsession? (oooh does someone have a crush /sarc). do you think its funny? (trick question, i know that you do). do you think you are cool for bullying me? (you certainly are not). i never wanted my coming out to be a big thing but obviously you had to make it that way. i have been told of your transphobia, your biphobia. i know that you laugh at every word i say. i am not stupid, never have been, never will be. bullying neurodivergent people will never be okay. so fucking stop it.